Prayers and Advice Needed

I only have one area in my life right now that I am confused about and I don't know how to procede. I feel that it is time to share this with everyone because it is nothing that I need to be ashamed about and the support might make this a lot easier..so here goes.

As many of you know, I have CRPS and am on a lot of medication because of it. Since the pain started in January 2006, my priorities in life have changed dramatically. I used to want to be this powerful careerwoman that didn't have to rely on anyone. Now I am not really concerned with work(except for finding some that I can do) and I am very focused on wanting to have a family. Travis and I have been married for 6 years and for the first 4 we weren't really ready for kids. I wish so much that we had been, because now it is going to be really difficult for us. Our options include:

1. Go off of all of my medication so we can get pregnant naturally. Allthough I would love to have my own children, I am not sure if I could stand the pain of my disorder without the medication I am on. It is hard for me to deal with the pain sometimes now even with all the medication.

2. Find someone willing to be a surrogate so that we could still have our own children, but I would not have to go through the tortue of not having my medicine. I can't imagine how hard it would be to find someone willing to be a surrogate though.

3. There is a chance, a small chance, that if I have another surgery to implant a spinal cord stimulator, that that might relieve the pain enough to allow me to get off my other medication. I can have the unit temporarily attached in a week trial to see what it would be like, but there is no guarantee that it would work enough to get me off my meds or that it would contiue to work over time. I would also have to have surgeries every few years to replace the batteries of the unit.

4. Our final choice is adoption. Travis and I are both open to adoption. I think it is just hard to admit that you will never get to have the experience of being pregnant and having your own child.

Travis and I both think that we will probably end up adopting, but there are a lot of mixed feelings for all of the options we have come up with. I just thought I would open up and share all of this with my friends and family to see if anyone has any advice, or at least to get some much needed prayers. Right now Travis and I have talked about adopting when we get back to the U.S., but obviously nothing is firmed up yet.

Thank you to all of my family and friends for being so great that I feel good about sharing this information. I love you all!