Pain and Prayer

The last few days have been pretty bad pain days for me. I just wish it would end. I woke up to take my medicine at 4am like I do every morning, but I was in so much pain that I couldn't go back to sleep. My ankle is aching so bad I can hardly stand it!!!! I looked at the weather and saw that there is an 100% chance of rain today. Well, that would do it! I think I can predict rain a lot more accurately than the weather people!! I'm hoping church won't be too bad for me today. Since I didn't get that much sleep and I'm hurting badly, it makes it harder to keep a good attitude.

I'm tired of getting told that my ankle doesn't look that bad or that no one would know I'm in pain from the way I act. I'm not sure how people think that my ankle should look or I should behave. It's so frustrating. It feels like one more way that people don't believe me. Sorry to keep going like this, but I had several people comment on how they couldn't tell that I was in pain at a class this past week. For some reason, I feel compelled to try to convince them that I really am in as much pain as I say I am. With all that I have to deal with, I would hope that I would at least be granted the courtesy of being believed.

I guess I can't expect people to understand. Most people have intense pain for short periods of time and during that time they can't function because of it. My pain has been going on so long that you have to learn to function or I would just be knocking myself out with drugs and sleeping all the time. At that point, life wouldn't be worth living. Although, I wouldn't mind that escape from time to time. Just to have a break, even if I was asleep during it.

I was looking for a bible verse that someone said during communion I think two weeks ago, but I can't seem to locate it right now. I'll look for it some more and then post it. It has to do with what to pray for when you don't know what to pray for. I have to believe that God knows what is in my heart even when it hurts so much that I can't put it into words. What a wonderful relationship. Someone that listens to you, gives you advice, and knows what is at the core of you even without words. I feel so lucky for that relationship. Even through all of the hardship I am enduring, I know that my life is better now with God than it was without him when I was pain free. Before my relationship with God, my soul hurt. Now it is just my body and that is temporary. What a wonderful gift I have received. Please pray for my continued faith, patience in tribulations, and that the pain will finally end.

Okay...I found the scripture I was thinking of. It is Romans 8: 26

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.